im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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