how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
