I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
