i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
