If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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