he puts the penis in happiness.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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