i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
