these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
