Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
