I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
