Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
