I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
