I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
