Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
