adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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