I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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