Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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