y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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