The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
