ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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