I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
