Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
