U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
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