I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
