I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
don't judge my taste in strippers
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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