And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
