remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
meet me or not, i'm out of control
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
