i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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