doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
