So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
