Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
