today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
