did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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