Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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