I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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