You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
