dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
