she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
