help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
