3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
