I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
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