I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
