I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
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And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
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Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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