youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
