Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
