im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
