I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
In other news, I just burned my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize