so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
