I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
