I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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