I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
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i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
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He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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