I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
