Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
just tell him i said nine months
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
