I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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