I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
