i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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