I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
