At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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