it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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