I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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