Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
