i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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