I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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